To start and following, with an explanation, I hate being "crazy Jen" so, for the record and as a prayer and request, stop making this a reality in the universe and change it to a positive.
TaraLynn told me YEARS ago that I have to start looking at mental health in the same light as physical health. Like, if I cut my finger badly while chopping onions for dinner or felt like throwing the onion across the room I should be viewing these things for ME identically. So, I would go to the doctor for the cut and now, ARGH!!!! I will have to bring this up at my next freaking, maternity appointment....
Seriously, I am sooooo done sometimes with having THIS chemical makeup. Will I forEVER be struggling with the "high highs" and "low lows" that I have apparently be born with? If my mom was alive she would tell me that it doesn't exsist, my grandmother tells me that it's just the way it is, my foster mom tells me that she loves me and I need to talk to my doctor, I don't tell my mother in law and my sisters and good close friends will put an arm around me in whatever capacity that is and help me through this.
I didn't have it with the twins, but I honesly JUST figured out today that YEP! It's here... it even has a name "perinatal depression" so, INTO the doctor I will walk and off to the Reproductive Psychology clinic I will go because woman who suffered with this long ago had no help and it would be practically shameful for me to NOT take advantage of the help that we have nowadays.
LOL! I just paused to get some facts before posting this and I read "As many as one in five women in BC will experience significant depression in relation to her pregnancy and childbirth." I have been pregnant 5 times and VOILA! I am the only person in my world who has suffered, stuggled and been treated for this... OH THE IRONY!!! Now I am giggling cause the rain started and it was a beautiful sound.
Jen - i think that there are many other women who have touched your life who have suffered in silence. I know for a fact that my Mom had the same problwm when pregnant with my Brother. But in those days there was NO help and NO understanding at all.
ReplyDeleteSo here it is - i know you are waiting to hear it -- Go see your doctor, there is some medical help for you. I love you!!!
Oh well you know I had depression with Ashton, I was working full time (supposed to be on bedrest)as a waitress with a boss who only ever gave me one break per 9 hour shift!!! only to come home to eviction notices and NO food in the house because my boyfriends waiges were being garnished by the government for an honest mistake......then to find out something may be "wrong" with the baby I am carrying and having an emergency c-section 4 weeks early.....so I know how you feel!!! that depression didn't leave until after Brayden was born.
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