It's that time of year... yes Christmas and stockings and turkey and Merry Ho Ho, but more the "resolution" time of year. I have claimed for many years to not make resolutions for the same reason that I claim to be a non-competitive person. Who knows me knows that I have a competitive side but only when I think I can win. My resolutions are no different. I make them all the time not just for the first day of the year.
Judgement is the next part of this. Judge lest ye be judged... ponder that for a moment.... Today I was so angry at Kevin as I shovelled the sidewalk and made room for the garbage and recycling. Added to my anger was the fact that my garbage system was not followed by neither children NOR husband (2 lidded cans for kitchen garbage and the third for misc NON food type) and the crows got into it. I lost my temper with Austin because when I asked him to come help me he said NO and went away. So being the good citizen that I am, I cleaned up the mess and started to shovel.
I asked God why just like almost everyone does, regardless of their faith structure and wondered why I had to be the one to do it, why I was the one with the problem kids and why I am the one who has had such a hard go at childhood that spills on to my own kids'. Those thoughts often round to, "Don't worry about stuff, I have it under control, I am God and I have a plan," which nowadays does provide peace and strength to continue on and rounded me to darn it, I need some salt... oh well...
Tonight while Kev and I went to get our turkey, I was explaining to him that I was so mad at him this morning for not doing the man job and shovelling and salting. He did say sorry but sorta wondered why the sidewalks should be his responsibility ... 10 minutes pass and a few turns and skids later he complains that people are parking further and further away from the curb making is more dangerous to drive around because "they're too lazy to" .... he totally paused and got quietish .... "shovel"
We had a good laugh about that one and I got to say, Judge, lest ye be judged, see, it's YOU who will judge YOU when YOU judge another....
So here's me judging me. How does THAT work... if I judge myself off the bat, does that help in correcting the flaw? I want to change this thing in my life called we don't do anything with our kids syndrome and feel SO GUILTY about all the stuff we see other people do then we make excuses about how we can't. So, I want to change this .... it's not as easy as the tips I am about to ask for, but as most of you know, I do a shopping cart method and Denise might suggest something that matches with what Laura might say or something that Kristen might comment on :) so go for it, tell me how do YOU change your habits.
